Grandmothering Children at an Orphanage in Vidin
My name is Ivanka. They call me a Baba here in Bulgaria, because I am both a grandmother and a caretaker in the Vidin city orphanage. The way I see it, I have three grandchildren, two from my daughter and also the sweet little 3-year-old boy I care for. I can’t tell you his real name because we nurses have to protect our babies, but let’s call him Stephan.
Monday through Friday I work four hours a day caring for him and a few other children. Stephan needs a lot of love and help, because several months after he was born, doctors noticed that his legs were always stiff from spasms in his muscles. When he got a little older, he couldn’t roll over like other babies. The doctors diagnosed him with cerebral palsy.
Stephan’s mother couldn’t care for him, and she had to bring him to the orphanage when he was just a baby. It’s a lot of work taking care of a newborn, but when a child is disabled, it is even more difficult. I think about her a lot, and wonder if she dreams about what he is like. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to bring him here. I wish she was allowed to come and hold him, kiss the top of his head, and tell him that she loves him, like I do.
Much of my time is spent with Stephan. When I work the early shift, I wash and dress him, then feed him his breakfast. He loves vanilla pudding, maybe because it is easy for him to swallow. But I think, same as most children, he likes it because it is sweet.
While I’m taking care of Stephan, I talk with him, describing things I’m doing or just tell him what a good boy he is. I like to do that with all the children I help when there is time. He also loves to be read to! His favorites are stories about the animals that live in the forest.
His favorite toy is his stuffed rabbit. Some days, we listen to children’s songs or I prop him up so he can watch cartoons. He likes to hear about Noah and the Ark. I bet he’d like to have been on that Ark, feeding all the animals, and petting the baby bunnies and puppies.
When the weather is nice, I carry him to the garden around the orphanage. Sometimes we find a spot in the sun, and look at the flowers. He still can’t move his legs, but the doctors are discussing doing a surgery so he’ll be able to walk.
Some days, Stephan has physical therapy or special exams. He doesn’t like either of those things, and when I’m not with him, they say he cries a lot. When I’m there, I’m able to calm him down. That is the best part of my work.
Caring for children with disabilities takes a lot of patience, hard work and persistence. I give children a lot of love. I also receive a lot of love from them. It’s very satisfying to gain the trust of a frightened child. I can’t think of anything more heartwarming than when a child recognizes your voice and stops crying.
Helping children at the orphanage is very important to me. I’ve been a nurse for many years. My whole career was spent caring for disabled children and orphans. I love my days at the orphanage because it gives me great joy to build a connection with a sick or troubled child.
Although I work at an orphanage in Bulgaria, Helping Hands Eastern European Ministries pays my salary. When all of us Babas were laid of this fall because Helping Hands needed more donations, we worried about the children. The Bulgarian government provides only enough money for their basic care. The regular nurses who work around the clock don’t have enough time to speak with the children very much, hold them, or rub their backs. There is certainly not enough time to read to them and grow a connection with any of them.
It’s good to be back now, and we hope it will be permanent. A woman donated some money so that we could return to work for a few more months. I am so happy to help Stephan and my other children, who need a lot of love, stories, and extra attention.
Someone should write a book about our work at the orphanage. There are too many little children with big problems, but with love, they too can have happiness. It takes a Baba to make a caring connection for a special child like my Stephan. That is how we should grow children, isn’t it?
This story was composed using the notes of an interview with Ivanka.